I don’t imagine slowing down anytime soon, but I don’t know if I need as much as I once did, or if I need the same things. And if we are middle-aged like you often joke, then half of my time is gone, so how will I choose to fill the remaining half? I don’t know yet, but I know it’s not going to look the same as the first half, it can’t. The more years that speed past, the more I don’t care about age - mine, or anyone else’s - but I do think about time. I wasn’t sad to turn 40, but I also kinda didn’t care, which made me a little sad. My priorities changed, but did it have to do with getting older? It hadn’t occurred to me until recently, hearing us reflect on our age so much. I was actively working and inspired for a year straight, realizing I could be creative, satiate my needs, and still sleep in my own bed. I think it was staying home to write High School that taught me that. I trust we won’t lose everything if we aren’t constantly maintaining it all the time. Somewhere along the way, in the last few years, it flipped. I used to worry if we weren’t constantly touring, everything we had built would disappear I wanted to tour constantly and yet was debilitated with homesickness. I don’t want to abandon what I’ve built at home, and I still feel very ambitious, but for so many years there was so little to come home to, so little time at home, and I want to be sure I’m appreciating it and caring for it properly. These five years we’ve had mostly off the road have made it hard for me to imagine leaving for months at a time to tour. At forty-one, I admit, I have started to think about touring less. Our thirties ended up being our busiest decade to date our ambition was at an all-time high. I had no intention of slowing down at thirty, or having children, and said as much when I was asked. That’s when journalists started to ask us if we were going to slow down, stop touring, and have kids. I never thought much about age until I turned thirty.
Teenagers? Or adults? Sometimes I can’t feel the difference between when I was a teenager and now.
We’ve been looking backward for years, reversing down the spine of our lives toward adolescence in our work, and I wonder if that exploration makes us feel older than we are, like we’ve lived more life than we have. The real reason I’m asking is that recently I have caught myself doing it too. Is it a joke? Or do you really feel old? Are you doing it to get people to tell you you’re young? That you look young? Because you do. Lately, you seem determined to highlight the fact that you feel old as often as possible, and I want to defend us each time you do it. It was like a tic, something you couldn’t control. I noticed you doing it when we were meeting with our record label before our last release, you did it in the press during interviews, with friends, with family, and even with me.
#TEGAN AND SARA NINTEEN TV#
Here in Calgary, on the set of our tv show, I notice you call yourself old more than usual, perhaps because so many of the people we spend our day with are younger than us, some by twenty years.
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